Are you the ‘Difficult Spouse’ ?

Unhappy coule

Real relationships are not perfect and perfect relationships are not real !!

 

It’s 5.4 minute read.

If you are a wife or husband and on many occasions you think you are disappointed because of the other…..and think the other is the ‘difficult spouse’…. then this article is for you.

I am thankful to you if you felt there is something wrong in either of the parties and the mistake can be rectified easily.

There are two types of marriages.( Marriages are made in heaven.Is itn’t ?)

1.Love marriage

2.Arranged marriage ( In most of the eastern countries )

Irrespective of the type of marriage,both the man and the woman of his love have to adjust with each other in order to be compatible.

In fact, post marriage life is full of challenges and it exposes the couple to myriads of issues.

But we all know the truth.

One day or other both the man & the woman have to face unpleasant situation of opposing & different opinions and views, in matters of their day-to-day ‘living together’

The reality of the so-called colorful future has to show its fangs,since it is waiting to strike first !

Once the misunderstanding happens and prolongs….There are two options available

  1. You decided you are not going to adjust at all…then Apply for divorce and probably matter can come to end to the mutual satisfaction,and thus ending the very discussion I am trying to make.
  2. If the above choice is not the option due to so many other pressing matters,( which is a bit lengthy topic, for some other time discussion ) and you both have to live together,and you have to go along with the spouse….thus making the ‘misunderstanding part’ useless and even unnecessary.

Why to quarrel at all in the first place ?

Now it’s time to think.

1.Realize that ‘ married happily ever after ‘ is an illusion ( Maya )
2.Understand that Wife & Husband belong to the same team and they have to work

together for the success of their married life.

“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.

Ecclesiastes4.9-10

3.We often hurt our spouse knowingly or unknowingly.Do you know the solution ? Ask for ‘forgiveness’ whole heartedly.

4.When Anger or Helplessness happens to one of you…just take a deep breath and allow the heated moment to pass.Don’t forget.. time’s the greatest healer.

5.Remember marriage is a vow,before God.

Now it’s time to put the following into action.

Don’t allow discord to remain ,not more than one minute,and your anger not more than a second.

Don’t be bossy and do not take one another for granted.

Respect individual feelings & make mutual adjustments

Make sincere effort to avoid jealousy and Ego & revenge,be the first to make the other win the argument.( small trick I tell you…remember whoever does most talking is the one at fault )

Don’t deprive each other of your needs just to take the revenge

Keep communicating,by which I mean try to find where exactly things are going wrong.

Constantly tell to yourself….

  • Forget & forgive,
  • I can go also wrong,
  • live & let live,
  • let us make best,out of the difficult situation,
  • I trust you.

Finally

I asked an old man “which is more important? To love or to be loved?”
Old man replied “which is more important to a bird, the left wing or the right wing?” – MarriageHumor, Instagram

A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers – Robert Quillen

A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.-yourtango.com

A marriage is a like a house. When a light bulb goes out, you do not go and buy a new house, you fix the light bulb. – Happy Wives Club

Marriage is meant to keep people together, not just when things are good, but particularly when they are not. That’s why we take marriage vows, not wishes. – Ngina Otiende

 

Any thoughts on being the Difficult Spouse ?

which of the above quotes ,you think sends the perfect message ?

Thanks for being a patient reader and reaching this point.

Thank you

Philosophy Through Photography

Pixabay,Curiano.com

Are you the ‘Difficult Spouse’ ?

Unhappy coule
Real relationships are not perfect and perfect relationships are not real !!

If you are a wife or husband and on many occasions you think you are disappointed because of the other…..and think the other is the ‘difficult spouse’…. then this article is for you.

I am thankful to you if you felt there is something wrong in either of the parties and the mistake can be rectified easily.

There are two types of marriages.( Marriages are made in heaven.Is itn’t ?)

1.Love marriage

2.Arranged marriage ( In most of the eastern countries )

Irrespective of the type of marriage,both the man and the woman of his love have to adjust with each other in order to be compatible.

In fact, post marriage life is full of challenges and it exposes the couple to myriads of issues.

But we all know the truth.

One day or other both the man & the woman have to face unpleasant situation of opposing & different opinions and views, in matters of their day-to-day ‘living together’

The reality of the so-called colourful future has to show its fangs,since it is waiting to strike first !

Once the misunderstanding happens and prolongs….There are two options available

  1. You decided you are not going to adjust at all...then Apply for divorce and probably matter can come to end to the mutual satisfaction,and thus ending the very discussion I am trying to make.
  2. If the above choice is not the option due to so many other pressing matters,( which is a bit lengthy topic, for some other time discussion ) and you both have to live together,and you have to go along with the spouse….thus making the ‘misunderstanding part’ useless and even unnecessary.

Why to quarrel at all in the first place ?

Now it’s time to think.

1.Realize that ‘ married happily ever after ‘ is an illusion ( Maya )
2.Understand that Wife & Husband belong to the same team and they have to work

together for the success of their married life.

“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.

Ecclesiastes4.9-10

3.We often hurt our spouse knowingly or unknowingly.Do you know the solution ? Ask for ‘forgiveness’ whole heartedly.

4.When Anger or Helplessness happens to one of you…just take a deep breath and allow the heated moment to pass.Don’t forget.. time’s the greatest healer.

5.Remember marriage is a vow,before God.

Now it’s time to put the following into action.

Don’t allow discord to remain ,not more than one minute,and your anger not more than a second.

Don’t be bossy and do not take one another for granted.

Respect individual feelings & make mutual adjustments

Make sincere effort to avoid jealousy and Ego & revenge,be the first to make the other win the argument.( small trick I tell you…remember whoever does most talking is the one at fault )

Don’t deprive each other of your needs just to take the revenge

Keep communicating,by which I mean try to find where exactly things are going wrong.

Constantly tell to yourself….

Forget & forgive,

I can go also wrong,

live & let live,

let us make best,out of the difficult situation,

I trust you.

Finally

I asked an old man “which is more important? To love or to be loved?”
Old man replied “which is more important to a bird, the left wing or the right wing?” – MarriageHumor, Instagram

A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers – Robert Quillen

A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.-yourtango.com

A marriage is a like a house. When a light bulb goes out, you do not go and buy a new house, you fix the light bulb. – Happy Wives Club

Marriage is meant to keep people together, not just when things are good, but particularly when they are not. That’s why we take marriage vows, not wishes. – Ngina Otiende

 

Any thoughts on being the Difficult Spouse ?

which of the above quotes ,you thing sends the perfect message ?

Thanks for being a patient reader and reaching this point.

Pixabay,Curiano.com

Wife & Husband -Can’t they be best friends for life ?

Best friends

Marriages are made in Heaven ,that is the quote. Do you agree ? or it’s a Myth ?

Those who believe in this, say that,

 

1. There is a Cosmic Power that is responsible for the actions of people and marriage is decided even before one is born. 2 .Marriage is 100 % destined since it is under the influence of the Almighty.

3. Whether it is arranged marriage or Love marriage,the same Cosmic power is deciding the events to be unfolded for the perfect Date of the marriage

Those who don’t believe in the proverb have plenty of explanations,as to where Almighty has utterly failed.

 

1.If the proverb is true,why there are so many Divorces,so frequently ?

Divorce happening at the drop of a hat.Causes extending from silly reasons to financial problems to infidelity to substances of abuse…….you name it..it’s there and can lead to divorce.

2 .Domestic violence

Less said better,since these things are happening in so called developed world,developing world and underdeveloped world.

3. Couple Incompatibility. What is couple incompatibility ?

No two persons are the same.even if you think that they are same in their interests and personalities ,still their individual reactions to the demanding situations vastly vary.

4. Ego clash

Marriages are made in Heaven

I have never yet met with anything that was dearer to any one than his own self” — -Buddha

No body can help if one is not able to avoid Egoistic attitude

5. Couple in illusion mode.

Marriages are made in Heaven

Many of us believe in Hollywood or Bollywood version of romance,passion,sex,hero kissing the heroine,lots of colourful fireworks in the background,decorated Horse cart,waiting for the couple,forever romance and happy endings.There is enormous difference between living ‘Happily ever after ‘ and ‘Happily ever before ‘

“So they were married ,to be the more together and found that they were never again so much together Divided by the morning tea, By the evening paper,By children and tradesmen’s bills”.      English poet Louis MacNiece

One has to face the reality . Things are different-,like arrival of children,loans,dealing with in laws,unnecessary fighting’,controlling anger etc.etc.

6.Extra Marital Affairs

Marriages are made in Heaven

Call it middle age crisis or fun and after a few years of married life ,people get bored,loose passion for love and start searching for new ways to get boost to their sexual need.These are occasions when one needs self control.

Ultimately Who are we to question the Wisdom of the God ?

My feeling is to let wife & husband recognise all their strengths and Weaknesses and be helpful to each other and their family at the same time knowing and even realising the Greatness of what is known as Institution of Marriage.

Marriages are made in Heaven
A Happy relationship is made up of two good Forgivers

Behind every happy couple, lies two people who have fought hard to overcome all obstacles and interference to be that way .Why ?? Because it’s what they wanted. ‘ unknown’

Marriages are made in Heaven

Glad,You reached this point .Kindly share your views and ideas on ‘Institution of Marriage’

Images source google images,pixabay