Tag: Friends

Is friendship a ‘fraud’ on people ?

Fooling oneself on Friendship

” I asked God to protect me from my enemies and I started losing my friends ” unknown          Duy Pham   unsplash

Can friendship be forever ?

Friendship is said to be one of the best things to happen in ones life.

Every time you think  of your friends, you  remember the saying ‘A friend in need is a friend indeed’

There are many similar quotes & sayings about worthiness of being a Friend & how to maintain the friendship etc and the BFF philosophy.

Some even said friends are an extended family.

Do you really think friendship lasts life long ?

But what actually happens ?

Well…….We all have two worlds….Dream world & Real world.

In the Dream World

“Death is possible any time,
Love is possible some time,
Marriage is possible one time,
But real friend like you is possible once in a life time.”   Unknown

Exaggeration at its peak ! Take it easy.

In the real world

The truth is

“I didn’t lose a friend.I just realized I never had one”    Unknown

It’s hard to find a genuine friend in this world.Mark my word.

Why don’t you realize that friendship changes from time to time and year to year ? Best friends you had previous year may not be the same this year.

The best friend you have this year won’t be true friend in real sense.

The so called bond between the friends too changes in intensity as times flies.Friends owe you nothing.All of them are judgmental.

Then why you feel bad if you don’t have a permanent friend ?

You are better off as an introvert rather than disappointed and getting depressed and pondering what went wrong by whom,who broke the friendship first  etc. etc.

Majority of your friends ignore your view point.Your friends make use of you to the extent you are useful to them.You are easily dispensable and thrown into the dust bin.

My feeling is 99% of the friendship is just show off ! Doesn’t serve any purpose and somewhere you feel good without friends.At least you can be at peace.

Friends don’t bring you the’Feel good’ instead bring you anger,hatred,jealous,frustration  and depression.

“There is some self interest behind every friendship.There is no friendship without self interest.This is a bitter truth“. Chanakya.

What is your experience, my friend ?

Don’t you agree that the idea of friend and friendship is rubbish since soon we all get disappointed as majority show their true colors and we have to fend ourselves.

So true friendship is a myth ?

Yes .Believe in me.

Friendship is a toxic waste of time.Friendship is an illusion ( Maya )

So who can be your best friend in the end ?

Just look into the mirror.

“I myself am the only friend I have.” Terence

Please share your views whether friendship is a fraud on people.I appreciate.

Thank you.

Philosophy Through Photography

Only thing that is permanent in this life is ‘Change’

Only thing that is permanent in this life is 'change '

I don’t give up on friendship easily,but when I do it’s because they gave up first      Unknown

It’s 3.8 minute read.

Some People are funny,strange,weird,unreliable,unexplainable and change unexpectedly for reasons best known to them.

I hope and pray, I am not one of them.

Relations,relationships,colleagues,business acquaintances,partners,travel partners,online friends,romantic relations,….you name the category,you can have it and they change over the time.

Friendship is no exception.

I am limiting my topic to friendship.

Why do our best friends change over time ?

Live science says that “When it comes to your close friends,you lose about half and replace them with new ones after about seven years”

I am not sure about this 7 yrs time limit,but personally I feel it can happen between 6 months to one year,meaning friendship can reach peak by the end of 6 month and gradually reach the bottom at the end of 12 month.

Some of my thoughts

1.Most of us go overboard regarding friends and friendship, in the beginning and as expectations raise high,disappointments too happen in equal proposition as the time passes.

2.Since there is no commitment or bond ( similar to marriage ),its easy to break friendship and may be one need not give the reason ( though it’s uncivilized ).

3.Choice- everyone has a choice.And it’s up to you to continue the friendship or change friends depending on your circumstances.

You may be called selfish.It’s OK.But the other side person is shocked/surprised.

4.Other relationships take priority over you and you suddenly become a nuisance.

5.Change in life style.It can range from marriage,change in job,kids,habits,divorce,health etc.

6.When you change,naturally your friendship changes.

7.Friends get bored over the time and lose interest to be in touch.

8.Misunderstanding on a non serious issue.

What is that you can do when your best friend changes over the time ?

It’s sad,when people you know become people you knew.

It is said of all the relationships,friendships have a tendency to fade over the time.

“Don’t cry because it’s over.Smile because it happened” Dr. Suess

Personally,I don’t want to blame myself because I believe in the dictum,’Everything happens for a good reason’.

No doubt I feel bad that my best friend is avoiding me,but the best thing is to move on and start focusing on myself.

The only reason why We feel hurt is when the ‘so called best friend’ doesn’t tell the reason why he/she changed over time.

I can tell how things change over the time, step by step (stages)

  • Unknown people to – so so  friends
  • so so friends – friends
  • friends to- known friends
  • Known friends to – close friends
  • Close friends to – Best friends
  • Best friends to – Bestie
  • Bestie to – Die hard friends
  • Die-hard friends to – acquaintances
  • Acquaintances to – so so friends
  • So so friends to – strangers

Now the cycle ends,happily for one,putting the other one in suspense !

“Change is the rule of nature which never changes”     Shailesh Sutar

Is life long friendship possible ?

Difficult but It’s possible.

1.Don’t expect things.Maintain the same distance,Neither too close nor too far.

2.keep in constant touch.

3.See that the allotted time to chat/ meeting is maintained.Don’t give excuses.And be sincere.

Why I am writing this Post ?

I feel I am experiencing and wondering about Life Pattern & the Life’s strange way of changing people over the time.

Can this be the other way……Am I changing over the time ?

Yeah….why not ?. My friends might be thinking I have changed over the time.But at least if I have a genuine reason I openly tell.

Did any time your best friend ditch you ?

If so did you know the reason ?

Any Lessons learnt ?

“There is some self interest behind every friendship.There is no friendship without self interest.This is a bitter truth        Chankaya

Who is selfish at the end ? Who can judge ?

Can you help me ?

Please share your thoughts.

Thank you.
Philosophy Through Photography

 

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12 things that don’t matter in your life

There are two things you should not waste your time on,things that don’t matter and the people that think you don’t matter. Unknown

All of us know that there are lots of things that don’t matter in our life but still we give greatest importance these things and willing to undergo self torture, forgetting the real matters where importance has to be given.

Please share your thoughts too.

Some of my thoughts……

  1. Other peoples opinion of you
  2. Hundreds of Your Facebook,Instagram,snap chat followers
  3. Your past.
  4. Your emotional wounds.
  5. Yourself comparing with others.
  6. Worrying about future.
  7. Trying to be perfect all the time.
  8. How much you know.
  9. Events happening in your life.It happens whether you like it or not.
  10. Your perception of others or other’s perception of you.
  11. Your consumerism.
  12. 99% of the things you think matters.

Then What is that matters you ?

Yes certain things matter most.

  1. Family that loves you.
  2. A few good friends.
  3. Food on your table.
  4. Roof over your head.
  5. Happiness and contentment status of your mind.
  6. Money for your just basic needs.
  7. Spreading joy to the people you come across.
  8. Selecting intellect over your mind pressures.
  9. Be kind to all the creatures of Almighty.
  10. Keeping a distance from the 7 deadly sins.

Remember ….’You are richer than you think’

Nothing else matters !

Thank you.
Philosophy Through Photography

 

8 Good reasons why you don’t need a best friend

Do you need a best friend ?

Best friend- A necessary evil ??

Its a 4.3 minute read.

Leave alone having friends,is it necessary to have a best friend ?

Friendship entitles you to nothing.

Best friends don’t exist.

Some argue that there is no need at all !

They say friends are only meant for schools and colleges. After that the ‘reality’ of Life catches you and you will be wasting time in searching for a best friend since no such thing exists in real life.

It is even said you get respect from friends only if you have money to spend on them.They can even snatch your boy friend or girlfriend !

At one stage you may even wonder whether friends are a part of our lives !

What is the criteria you have, to call some body as your best friend ?

I give you certain criteria ( which you expect from a best friend ) and also explain why your friend always fails to have all these qualities.

1.Honesty– Though honesty is the best policy,you don’t find a single friend who is honest.Best friend is no exception.Remember Chanakya’s quote

” A person should not be too honest,straight trees are cut first and honest people are screwed first.”

2.Empathy– No body has time or patience to understand and share the feelings you are undergoing.None care either.

“People will truly never understand something until it happens to them” unknown

3.Trust- trust comes into play when secrets have to be maintained.You and I know that things are not that easy and friends are tempted to take advantage of your weakness.Trust yourself and live alone.

“Don’t trust anyone blindly.Most people you meet with are with you only for their own sake and interest” unknown

4. Helpfulness-this is a myth.Remember in the hierarchy of relationships,friendship is at the bottom.Priority of helping goes to your parents,children and relatives.Remember your friend can not always help you.

“We never lose friends.We simply learn who the real ones are” unknown

5.Telepathy-It is said that best friends can read your mind before you start telling. This is humbug.It’s a fact that Your own kith and kin never understand you properly,from where your friend can prior assess what is in your mind !!

“Blind man in a dark room looking for black cat that is not there”. Thomas A Harris

6.Comforting- This again mere waste of time.None can comfort you irrespective of the situation you are in,since you alone have to comfort yourself at the end.

“Friends comfort you with comforting words.Best friends comfort you with comforting words too in a sarcasm way” unknown

7.Memories– Recollecting the best part of your memories with your best friend only makes you cry further !

“Sometimes the best memories are sad because you know they will never happen again.” unknown

8.Not judgmental -Human tendency is to be judgmental and you get a best friend based on his/her judgement about you.Then how can you expect your best friend be not judgmental at all ?

“We are very good lawyers for our own mistakes,but very good judges for the mistakes of others”. Unknown

O.K. What does it feel like not to have a best friend ?

  • One has a breathing space.
  • One is at liberty.
  • The pleasure of being introvert is unique.
  • No need to share your details/secrets .
  • No drama.
  • Save lot of money from partying etc.
  • You are safe from wrong advises the friend gives.
  • No fighting,arguing or back stabbing.
  • No depression,dejection or disappointments.No need to deal with others judgment,stupidity,demands and expectations.
  • It helps you to know about yourself better.
  • Opportunity to develop spirituality.

I can go on….

Please share your thoughts.

Thank you
Philosophy Through Photography

Inspiration & Credits-goodnet.org,quora

Why even thick friends go apart over a period of time ?

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Anybody can give lecture about value/virtues of friendship as said below.

“Friendship plays a key role to emotional growth and mental health.It boosts your happiness.

Talking to a friend lowers blood pressure and reduces the risk of depression.

Hugging,listening,sharing connecting and celebrating life with friends decreases stress.

That is what friends are for.They help you live longer”.      Pinterest

But does anybody care why friendship can go wrong and friend can even become enemies ?

For this better we understand the Relationship Hierachy as far as humans are concerned.

As human being we alway have priorities and relationship is no exception.

In hierachy of relationship,initially parents come,then romantic partners, and children followed by relatives and finally friendship.As you notice friendship is at the bottom of the hierachy.

Unlike in other relationship, one need not have any committment in friendship and it is not difficult to sustain.

But even then why friendship can fail ?

By these easily avoidable facts.

  • You ignore your friend regularly.
  • You communicate less and less .
  • You don’t spend sufficient time with them.
  • Your Discussions becoming Arguments,
  • You are busy giving excuses.
  • You love giving less to your friend than what you are receiving.
  • you keep the conversation very short
  • Change in your life style resulting is less interaction.
  • you are not helpful at all.
  • you start thinking your life dealings more important than your friendship.
  • your expectations on your friendship is high and so are your disappointments.
  • confusing friendship with emotional dependence.

Thank you

Philosophy Through Photography

 

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