Life throws many curve balls, and if you don’t swing… you’re never going to hit any ! Taylor Hicks
“You can not change how others treat you.( sometimes they won’t be so loving ).But you can change how you react to it all.( Be sure how you respond in a way which shows love for yourself-and don’t beat yourself upover how they are beating upon you ). Be good to yourself -even when others aren’t.( Especially when others aren’t)” Karen Salmansohn
“Your life is a reflection of the choices you make.Even events you don’t control reflect your choice in how you respond.If you want to improve your life,improve how you make choices.Try to mindfully make decisions which are inspired by open-mindedness,high integrity,and long-term thinking.” Karen Salmansohn
“Be a gift to everyone who enters your life.Be careful not to enter another’s life if you can not be a gift.You always are the gift-Yet sometimes you don’t let yourself know that .When some one enters your life unexpectedly,look for the gift that person brings.” Neal Donald Walsch
“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, and how you can still come out of it.” Maya Angelou.
Do you not long for that particular friendship which completes you ?
What is the definition of friendship ?
Voluntary relationship between people that lasts a long time and those involved are concerned about each other. It develops from shared interests and experiences and is mutually gratifying. source Psychology dictionary.com
Friendship is not based on sex,or age or other reasons
What is the best part in friendship ?
Don’t you think friendship in the form of shared interests and shared experiences which become memories over the time.
Are you not,the happiest when you cherish these wonderful memories of life,at the time of stress ?
Not just that,even when you both chat or speak to each other,recollecting some of the shared moments,shared jokes,even wondering how the time moving unusually fast,even making that moment wonderful !
What I am stressing is,the shared memories become a life’s Treasure.
Don’t you agree this is the best part in friendship ?
What happens,when friendship is forged ?
Definitely,the concern for each other increases.
Shared interest further strengthens the bond.
These two can happen only when you make a sincere effort to develop an emotional bond,by opening up,since you both are connected by mutual trust’ by this time.
How to make an emotional bond ? (somebody may even call this emotional link or cosmic link)
here I wish to make it clear that there is a difference between physical attraction and emotional attraction and physical attraction is a different subject for some other time discussion.
The efforts for emotional connection must come from both the friends,willing to make sincere efforts.
Four things are extremely important
1. Trust
2. Honesty
3. Sacrifice
4. Zero Ego
If these things are achieved from both sides,automatically emotional link is evolved
Trust – should be 100% .You can share your personal stories of mutual interest, and start bonding,and be sincere and frank.communicate regularly and develop mutual confidence
Honesty – should be 100%.Be honest in your communications.Prevent miscommunications.
Sacrifice – should be 100%.If Friends happen to be in the same place ,make yourself available Never avoid or give excuses.If you both happen to be in different cities,provide moral support as much as possible constantly.
Ego – Here there is only one solution.. Destroy the ego feelings instantly.
Finally No one is rich than a person who has a true friend
Just two interesting quotes
How many slams in an old screen door? Depends how loud you shut it. How many slices in a bread? Depends how thin you cut it. How much good inside a day? Depends how good you live ’em. How much love inside a friend? Depends how much you give ’em.” Shell Silverstein
To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world.” Brandy Snyder
When you forgive you don’t change the past but you do change the future.
Technically majority of us try to forgive, but 100 % of us forget that,we have forgiven, and somewhere the unpleasantness, haunts us for sometime, after all we are human beings !!
Some quotes…….
“Forgive other,not because thy deserve forgiveness,but because you deserve peace.” Jonathan Lockwood Huie
“It’s not an easy journey, to get to a place where you forgive people.But it is such a powerful place,because it frees you” Tyler Perry
Forgiveness releases the burden of a heavy heart Mathew 6:14-15
“Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.” William Arthur Ward
“As long as you don’t forgive, who and whatever it is will occupy a rent-free space in your mind.” Isabelle Holland
When you forgive,you do not erase the memory.You simply choose to forgive to free yourself from the bitterness.
“life is a balance of holding and letting go” Rumi
It is a common phenomenon that we are making friendship with online buddies and some of the friendships can truly turn out to be the best example of the Wonderful relationship lasting for ages.
It is said true friendship even outlast Romantic relationships.
Friendship can continue to the next level only when the friends honestly share their lives with each other,trust each other 100%, and can overcome the initial hesitations & suspicions,share their feelings both during happy or a depressing situations even forgive one another for any misunderstanding if at all any such thing arises and be supportive all the time.
And we are also aware that majority are not going to be honest for various reasons.Many times one is not sure how much personal information can be shared.
And we also know that online friendship with unknown friends is as good as entering a dangerous territory.
But still some venture into this territory and become the Besties.
Then one gets doubt whether online friendship can sustain or fail …..
And are there any reasons one prefers to log out ?
I know, one can give hundreds of reasons,but my one and the only reason being one of the parties or both parties not making enough efforts to sustain the friendship ( As Rumi’s quote above says ),a kind of give & take.
If the problem cannot be solved worrying will do you no good.”
Santideva.
Why you think there is a constant pressure on your life ?
Is it possible to let the steam out and lead a better peaceful and contended life ?
What are all the ways you think you are getting pressure even on your routine day-to-day life ? Let us discuss.
Family pressure
You want to do something you like but the family members advising you otherwise.You have two choices,either go ahead and do what you wanted to do or listen to your family.
The emotional tactic adopted by family members is crucial in influencing your thoughts.
Solution– Since you are grown up ,you can take your own well-meant decisions.
I feel emotional pressure by the family members is a kind of ‘blackmail’.
Social pressure
It is defined as the influence that is exerted on a person or groups.It can be argument,persuasion and conformity and demands.
Solution- Develop self confidence and mingle with people who accept you as you are. ( Like minded )
Peer Pressure
Peer pressure is the direct influence on people by peers, or the effect on an individual who gets encouraged to follow their peers by changing their attitudes, values or behaviors to conform to those of the influencing group or individual.
You will fall prey to peer pressure because you want to fit in .The peer can be your friend,classmate or colleague.
Solution– Be bold,think of the consequences,say a polite ‘thank you’ and be selective.
Our own tendencies
Author Gretchen Rubin has built a model called Four Tendencies Framework namely
1.Upholders.
2.Questioners.
3.Obligers.
4.Rebels.
She says that the four tendencies are responsible as to why we act and why we don’t act.
These tendencies can create pressure on oneself.
Solution– Change your tendencies.As simple as that.
You can even take the quiz of Gretchen Rubin here to know what personality you belong and how much pressure you are facing in your life.Click the link
Everyone makes mistakes in life, but that doesn’t mean they have to pay for them the rest of their life. Sometimes good people make bad choices. It doesn’t mean they’re bad…it means they’re human!
If you set the right example for your children during their formative years,those bonds of love and respect will be unbreakable. And your children will grow into adults,whom you can be proud of.
These days…relationship means… Any where without you is better than any where with you
How individual lives are changing ,relationships are thrown into the dust bin,people forgetting the meaning and value & sacredness of ‘LOVE’,
Thanks to addiction to social media & smart phones !
Relationships are harder now!
“Conversations became texting,
Arguments became phone calls,
Feelings became subliminal messages,
Sex became easy,
The word ‘love’ is used out of context.,
Insecurities became a way of thinking,
Getting jealous became a habit,
Trust is hard to come by,
Being hurt became natural.
Leaving became the only option,
Sad but true,
So if you have something…that is worth it,..don’t take it for granted,
Fight for it,don’t let it go” pinterest
Summary –
Be selfish,thanks to the inventions. indulge in your likings,Drink till you drop dead,fight without any reason,Ego is your life,jealousy is your partner, Greedy is your nature,Killing innocents is your taste,care not anybody,you owe the happiness you deserve,forget about dieting & exercises which are all money-making machines,,cheating is your mantra,money is everything and enjoy dying your own death,you owe nothing to anybody!
Is this the lesson modern-day life style teaching us ? Is this the meaning of advancement in human life ? Is this what all about relationships ?
And what about ethics,values,respect,responsibilities ,family relationship ?
I always tell the truth. Even when I lie. Al Pacino
Every body lies .Yes even You. That is the truth.
Can you keep your Right hand on your heart and say you never lie ?
We lie even to ourselves !! Our world is full of liars!!
Parents to their children,children to their parents,Friend to another friend,Husband to wife vice versa,Lovers to each other,superior to subordinate and subordinate to superior.People lie to doctors,to lawyers,to relatives,you name it,at every stage one is lying to others depending on the circumstances.
The day is incomplete if you don’t lie !
And what about Surveys ,the Researchers undertake to know the pulse of the people?
Are they getting the truthful response ?
How about our dependence on Google for A to Z queries ? Are you getting the accurate reply?
Then why on the Earth you expect others to be Honest ??
Is this not the best example of ‘Double Standard’ ?
Nicholas Sparks says lie is a part of living.
“Because everybody lies, It’s part of living in society.
Don’t get me wrong-I think it’s necessary.
The last thing anyone wants is to live in a society where total honesty prevails.
Can you imagine the conversations?
You’re short and fat, one person might say, and the other might answer, I know.
But you smell bad, It just wouldn’t work. So people lie by omission all the time.
People will tell you most of the story…and I’ve learned that the part they neglect to tell you is often the most important part.
People hide the truth because they’re afraid.” -Jo Nicholas Sparks
Even the ‘sex’ is not spared.
Everybody lies about sex. People lie during sex. If it weren’t for lies, there’d be no sex. Jerry Seinfeld
Why everybody lies ?
Lying is not only a defense mechanism; it’s also a coping mechanism and a survival
technique. Monica Raymund
Another reason given is..
“The truth is always a disappointment,which is why everybody
lies”. FrederickBeigbeder
Now coming to difference between lying and deceptionn…..
“In my next life I want to live my life backwards.
You start out dead and get that out of the way.
Then you wake up in an old people’s home feeling better every day.
You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day.
You work for 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school.
You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born.
And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!”
The wings of Hope carry us,soaring high above the driving winds of Life Ana Jacob
We all know that Life is not a fairytale that ends Happily ever after.
Life is composed of ups and downs.
There are several situations where we plan to the precision but when our wish is not coming true, we as humans get devastated.
And in some situations just reverse-what ever you wished can happen to your surprise.
“Life has many ways of testing a persons’ will.either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen all at once Paulo Coelho
Every day your life keeps you challenging at the drop of a hat ! But remember not to allow these challenges to put you down.
Never make comparisons.You don’t know the difficulties faced by the other person before he became successful.
“You aren’t going to find anybody that’s going to be successful without making a sacrifice and without perseverance.” Lou Holtz
Make best use of life,take everything that is offered to you ,because you know pretty well at the end something good is going to happen.
“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” Martin Luther King, Jr.
If you want to soar high in the life,you have to give up the things and people that weigh you down. Rashida Rowe quotes
“Some days are just bad days,that’s all.You have to experience sadness to know happiness,and I remind myself that not every day is going to be a good day,that’s just the way it is !Dita Von Teese
“It is popularly believed that sadness is due to certain things that happens to us. The cause of sadness is often traced to misfortune,hardship or humiliation
In truth all sadness is from within.
Sadness is the result of our inner attitude towards outer happenings”.
Dada J P Vaswani
The reasons for sadness are many. And all of you know.
Reaction to sadness varies from person to person and depends on how sensitive the person is.
Sadness can break the person completely and even push into suicidal tendencies.
Some cry to get relief,some indulge in self harming,some manage the show by fake smile,but still many are unable to come out of the feelings.
We all should realise that nothing is permanent in this life. Change is the way of life.
Whether it is sadness or happiness it won’t last forever and comes alternatively and this is nature’s law. Every thing changes over the time and time is the greatest healer!
Whatever may be the reason for sadness…never keep the emotions inside. Remember it’s like a time bomb.
What is the solution ?
Yes solution available.
A sad person needs another person who understands him/her 100%
The sad person just needs this person on whom he/she can lean on and cry their hearts out. Believe me the relief is instant !
“Man sacrifices his health in order to make Money.
Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health.
And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present,
The result being that he does not live in the present,or the future.
He lives as if he is never going to die,
And then dies having never really lived!.
The Dalai Lama.
” It’s good to have and the things that money can buy,but it’s good too,to check up once
in a while and make sure that you haven’t lost the things that money can’t buy”
George Lorimer .
As the saying goes …..” Best things in Life are free ”
But we never care to have a look at these things ….. and go on carving for more and more money,losing the true happiness ( True happiness can not be explained or described,can only be felt )
Then the question comes ….what are the things that money can’t buy ?
There are many things,but I can tell some important ones,what I could think.
Love,truth,time,peace of mind,talent,health,manners,true friends,knowledge,family unity,personal contentment,happiness,integrity,respect,ethics and lastly spiritual enlightenment, nature’s beauty……
There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement and acceptance.”John Lennon
This is a 2.7 minute read.Please proceed if you can spare this much time.
Before I start the discussion,it’s better we know the definition of ‘Romantic Friendship’.
According to ‘Wikipedia’
“A romantic friendship, passionate friendship, or affectionate friendship is a very close but typically non-sexual relationship between friends,often involving a degree of physical closeness beyond that which is common in the contemporary Western Societies. It may include for example holding hands,cuddling,hugging,kissing,giving massages, and sharing a bed, or co-sleeping, without sexual intercourse or other physical sexual expression”
Yourdictionary.com says
“An intensely emotional love relationship between two unrelated people, in which sexuality is unimportant and typically absent, but there is greater physical affection or poetic communication than is typical for friendship”
Can we include online Friendship ( since we are into the digital revolution with social media,online-video/chat,making new online friends etc ) into the above definitions ? I am not sure.
How nice it’s when the truly understanding relationship takes a vow, as said below !
“The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach more,that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds.And that’s what you’ve given me.That’s what I’d hoped to give you forever” Nicholas Sparks
But then….all are not fortunate and there has to be a kind of ‘vibe’ or as some one brilliantly coined the term ‘ Familiar vibe’, or Mutual ‘resonance’ between the partners or friends or relationships.Plato’s quote is apt.
“Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet.” Plato.
True friends really make a big influence on their individual lives in times of stress.
And What did John Lennon Say about friendship and its impact on Life and how this true friendship keeps you smiling ?
“Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears”.
A recent study published in the journal Psychophysiology suggests that simply imagining love & support from your significant other can boost your stress management skills.Check this link.
Seven days without laughter makes one weak.Mort Walker
It’s a 3.4 minute read.
Have you studied the facial expressions in the above photos ?
They are all laughing…their heads off ! This is happening irrespective of their age.This laugh is spontaneous and heartful.Since you are smart, you know that it is not a fake laugh.
Being intelligent, you also noticed that, some of them have closed their eyes,indicating total involvement and contentment of the situation they are in and the life they are living at that moment !
“A smile is the beginning of laughter,and laughter is the feeling of being happy,which we all need every day” ! Byron Pulsifer
Don’ take life seriously,start having fun ,what ever way you wish and have at least one good laugh every day !
Have a hearty laugh at every available situations be amusing or funny.Even recollect something funny that happened in your life and laugh and laugh and laugh.
I love friends who make us happy by their laughter and who are also jovial.
And I am lucky to have lovely online friends,who make my life burden lighter with their humour.
Advantages of Laughter –brings down the stress level,Reduces the Blood pressure,Your worries gone for sometime,You are also spending the calories,even improve the immune system
A hearty laugh gives one a dry cleaning, while a good cry is a wet wash. Puzant Kevork Thomajan
And talking about sound sleep ……. Lack of sleep is common in modern society.
From the interactions I had with a few WP readers,I realised that some of them are able to respond/reply/comment mostly during past midnight ( people from my part of the Indian Subcontinent ). I am not here for any judgment,since I know nothing of their schedule etc,but I wonder what is the mood like during that time, and how their next day is going to be and also the consequences on their health status in the long run.
Reduced sleep
Disturbed sleep ( insomnia) or Lack of sleep ( Sleep deprivation).
1.Insomnia is a sleep disorder due to psychological or health problems and one has to consult the physician for the cure.
2.Lack of sleep is human making.You get ready answer as to why one is not able to sleep enough.
Lack of sleep affects your immune system.( I don’t want to go into medical /scientific details).If you want your immune system to work at its best…then get the needed amount of sleep every night Don’t give excuses of stress etc.
On the contrary,good sleep reduces your stress level !
Don’t depend on sedatives or tranquilizers ! Remember lack of sleep makes you depressed.
“Sometimes it is difficult to remember, but other times it is very easy to remember. Sleep deprivation is the killer”. Andy Samberg
It is not the years in your life but the life in your years that counts Adlai stevensony
We all know that Life can never be ‘Instagram Perfect’.
But still,why we all make our life miserable ?
1.Because we worry about future which is unknown.
2..We quarrel among ourselves for what happened yesterday,who is responsible etc and trying to blame others or ourselves in the process.Yesterday is past….and nothing can be done,but still we worry for the things that happened.
3. We forget to be happy today conveniently because we have something or other priorities to attend.
Things don’t happen as per our wish,not readily waiting for us on the silver platter.
Do you remember the quote”Good things come to those who wait” It is nothing but rubbish.Life is never kind and it owes us nothing.There is no such thing called ‘Happy Life’ and my point is that you have to ‘live’ in the moment and make your life ‘Happy’
“It’s not a case of finding the meaning of the moments,but giving the moments meaning”. Steven Redhe
This life is our own and it resonates how you want it to live.If you want it to be miserable ..it’s the way it’s going to be for you.
“you can frame a moment,But you can’t frame life” Armin Houman
‘Hope’ is good,no doubt it sustains us but then we should make attempts to make that hope a reality by living in the ‘moment’
Then how not to feel miserable in life ? My thoughts are simple.
1.Stop over thinking.
2.Stop judging others.
3.Remember,nothing under your control.Just move along the flow
4.Avoid the mentality of perfectionist.
5.Stop criticizing.You know only part of the story.
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Ornamental fish in the Fish tank
