Thursday Thoughts-Marriage


“Marriage is the chief cause of Divorce”

Groucho Marx 

Definition of Family

“There is no such thing as a “broken family.”

Family is family and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents.

Families are made in the heart.

The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut. If you cut those ties, those people are not your family.

If you make those ties, those people are your family.

And if you hate those ties, those people will still be your family because whatever you hate will always be with you.”

 C. JoyBell C

Thank you for your visit.

Take care, my friend.

Namaste 🙏🙏🙏

Mr Philo

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22 thoughts on “Thursday Thoughts-Marriage

  1. Some interesting thoughts. I guess we can cut the ties to family … but even when we do that, there is still a connection … breaking the ties is sometimes necessary … but it can hurt too. Guess I don’t believe we can really cut those ties

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Brenda, I appreciate your thoughts.
      I have known family members who have severed all ties with other family members (for a variety of reasons) and haven’t seen one another for the remainder of their lives.
      It’s unsettling but real.
      Under these circumstances, the thought of family ties can only happen in the grave.
      Humans are weird.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks Philo. I was/am speaking from experience. Even though I distanced myself and broke contact from a couple of toxic family members (including my mum) I don’t think that tie was ever broken completely

        Liked by 2 people

  2. There is a difference between family and kinship. Most people use them interchangeably, but they are not the same. Family is the 3 generations of people in your immediate family: your parents and siblings, the person you chose, and the children you have. That child can be adopted or related, doesn’t matter. It’s the immediate household. Kinship is the blood relations that run through you, including cousins, great-grandparents, etc.

    Family is all about choice – you choose who to marry (hopefully), you choose whether to have kids or adopt, you choose. You choose who to let in (friends and lovers included). That’s why there’s always “family-dynamics” at play and not “kin-dynamics). Family bonds can be created or severed through the wearing or removal of a ring; kin dynamics don’t change unless new blood-related generations are created.

    That’s my take, anyway.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. You’re welcome. I wish more people understood the difference. They’d realize that a severed family bond isn’t turning your back on your blood, it’s protecting your mind, heart and soul from lecherous kin. They would also realize that the reason the word family is way more snuggly than kin is because you choose your family, you can’t choose kin. Sometimes, kin just suck. It’s not an all or nothing; the very people that taught you to hold family in such high regard using blood ties will be forever kin; so severing the family bond with a person who is toxic and just kicking it back to kin is not disrespectful, horrible, or anything else. You recognize the “by blood” relations, but will sacrifice no more of yourself for that relationship other than the acceptance that no legal document can or will sever the kinship, but kinship does not require a relationship. It is true that people want familial-kin acceptance, but sometimes, kin are just hard-headed, hateful morons and deserve nothing more. Hold your family close and take comfort in that you chose them and they chose you; hold your kin where they belong in your heart and no closer.

        The only relationship that you will ever have that is also the most important is with yourself. There is NO kinship relationship closer by blood than oneself. There is no family bond stronger than the love you should have for yourself. That is the most important relationship you can ever have. As a result, the only thing that any person can do is create the family they always wanted, accept the fact you’re kinda stuck with your kin, and make sure that you have the best day ever, today and every day going forward.

        Have an exquisite weekend!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I am thankful to you for the detailed explanation.

          You made things much easier and much more clearer to me regarding relationships.

          Love your statement
          “the only thing that any person can do is create the family they always wanted, accept the fact you’re kinda stuck with your kin, and make sure that you have the best day ever, today and every day going forward.”
          Agree. Nothing like having the best relationship with oneself.


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