Forever Friends?
In the image above you can see two people having a lovely discussion in a relaxed manner.
These guys are so immersed that they didn’t even realize that I am taking their click so closely.
The body language of both is enough to impress us that they are good friends of long-standing.
Notice the slippers of the guy in the side-lying position almost touching the other guy and it looks both of them are comfortable.
Any idea how long their friendship can last?
Why do even thick friends go apart over a while?
It’s very rare to come across friends, who are truly lifelong friends.
Anybody can give a lecture about the value/virtues of friendship as said below.
“Friendship plays a key role in emotional growth and mental health. It boosts your happiness.
Talking to a friend lowers blood pressure and reduces the risk of depression.
Hugging, listening, sharing connecting and celebrating life with friends decreases stress.
That is what friends are for. They help you live longer” Unknown
But does anybody care why friendship can go wrong and your best friend can become your worst enemy?
Relationship Hierarchy
Are you aware of this term?
For this to know you should understand why humans behave the way they behave.
As human being, we always have priorities and relationship is no exception.
In the hierarchy of relationships, initially, parents come, then romantic partners, and children followed by relatives and finally friends.
As you notice friendship is at the bottom of the hierarchy.
Unlike in other relationships, one need not have any commitment in friendship.
Even with commitment, friendship can fail.
99.99% of all friendships fail and 00.01% is an exception.
Why does friendship fail?
You have 13 solid reasons as to why you are at fault
- You ignore your friend regularly
- You communicate less and less
- You don’t spend sufficient time with them
- Your Discussions becoming Arguments
- You are busy giving excuses
- You love giving less to your friend than what you are receiving
- You keep the conversation very short
- Change in your lifestyle results in less interaction
- You are not helpful at all
- You start thinking your life dealings more important than your friendship
- The expectations of your friendship are high and so are your disappointments
- Confusing friendship with emotional dependence
- You make friendship for selfish gains
These are all avoidable situations!
Maybe you can give many more reasons?
What is my experience?
I am having almost zero friends in real life.
In the virtual world…to be frank I thought I had one good WP friend who over time totally ignored me.
Who is at fault?
I may or may not be at fault.
I am not sure, and neither I wish to blame anybody.
What is your experience?
Feel free to share your experience and your thoughts.
Were you betrayed anytime?
Are you hurt because most of your friends are selfish?
Message
“There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth”
Chankya
Thank you for your visit.
Take care, my friend.
Namaste 🙏🙏🙏
Mr. Philo
You can check my other similar posts HERE
Image by © PTP-2022 All Rights Reserved
This post is part of
✔Cee Neuner’s CFFC- Catching people unaware
✔John.S’s Cellpic Sunday
Philosophy Through Photography 
I love your treatise on lifelong friendships. People talk about their circle of friends, but there are seldom more than a handful of real friends in anyone’s life.
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Thank you John.
You are right.
We can count our friends easily.
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Terrific photo for this week. Thanks Philo 😀
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Thank you Cee Neuner
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A wonderful photo, dear Philo, but I wonder where these percentages come from. Can you provide a source?
According to American Perspectives Survey (May 2021), “Nearly six in 10 (59 percent) report having lost touch with at least a few friends, and 16 percent say they are no longer in regular contact with most of their friends” following the outbreak of Covid 19 pandemic. This is considered a significant decline in normal American rate of long-term friendship. So things are not all that bad!
I think social media plays a negative role in formation of true friendships, as it devalues the meaning of friendship, making it easy to “friend” or “unfriend.” Unfortunately, communication, sharing, caring, and trust have taken on totally new meaning.
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Oh! Dolly.
No way I can dispute what you said.
Mine is not based on any scientific evidence.
To be frank with you I lost confidence in these so-called ‘statistics’
Because statistics always depend on which side fence one sits on.
Statistics can be fact or fiction.
I also read that 85% of the statistics can either be false or misleading.
The percentage I mentioned is purely based on my experience.
These values can vary from person to person.
The statistics you mentioned also talk about people having fewer and fewer friends these days.
It’s always a pleasure to hear your side of the story.
Do You know why?
You make me think.. think and think and I gain knowledge.
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Thank you for the compliment, dear Philo. I only use reliable sources of information, rather than random statistics floating around the internet.
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It’s nice to know that you are lucky to be having reliable sources.
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They are on the internet; we just have to know where to look.
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I know… regarding reliability and purpose of these statistics make me nervous.
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As I tell my students, assess and ascertain reliability of your sources before you cite anything provided by Mr Google.
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Well said Dolly.
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Thank you, dear Philo.
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The less said better about the Social media platforms.
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I agree.
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Lovely photo and the explanation of the photo. Well, I am very fortunate in the area of friendships. I have really good true friends. In my experience, “The only way to have a friend is to be one. Take care!
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Thank you so much Mindful1971.
I love your statement ‘“The only way to have a friend is to be one”
You are fortunate.
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I have one friend from 1972 who I talk to every week despite long periods of time when we did not say in touch (years-months). Our friendship has evolved over crisis. I have a second friend since 2004 who I see once a year but it is like there has been no time gaps. Who knows how long my more recent friends will stay I’m my life? I think the ones who I truly enjoy being with will stick around. As long as they live.
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Thank you so much for your valuable input.
Agree. The number regarding the count of our friends always going to be a magic number.
We can never say what is that magic number going to be ultimate.
How to address you? (I mean your name)
You are having a lovely website.
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I think friendships – or developing relationships can be complicated. Friendships can only be established and last when both people want to be friends and view the relationship in the same way. I find sometimes people call me a friend, particularly online, but i don’t know that I’d use the same word. People seem to confuse being friendly with being a friend and I know some people do get hurt by that.
As for why friends fall out of friendship; I would add that over time as people grow and develop, the friends can change and drift apart as they have nothing in common any more.
I had to break a friendship once as I didn’t like the way my friend from university was developing – she was becoming a bully and didn’t see anything wrong with her behaviour. I had to make a decision that I didn’t want/need a friend like that.
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Thank you Brenda for your thoughts.
Agree there is a vast difference between being called a friend and being friendly.
I was under the impression that, addressing people online as friends is a better way to bond rather than addressing by name (Sometimes it’s disrespectable to address somebody by name in my part of the world)
I guess the intensity of friendship can reduce as people get bored.
Thank you for sharing your experience with this bully.
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Wonderful take on. Great capture of the conversation, Philo. I know people grow apart, it may not be anyone’s fault…
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Thank you, Amy.
I concur and it’s true and non to blame or take the blame.
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