The truth is…

“No family is perfect !

We argue, we fight, we even stop talking to each other at times ,but in the end family is family….the love will always be there”

Unknown 

What is quarrel?

To quarrel is to fight — but usually not physically.

Quarrelling is a fact of life, occurring between the best of friends, in the happiest of marriages, and between parents and their children. vocabulary.com

It is a disagreement about something.

Why do we quarrel in the very first place?

Somewhere I read ( I am not able to recollect the source) what is known as BIG 5 causing friction, leading to an argument.

1. Money
2. Sex
3. Raising kids
4. In-laws and
5. House/office work

Of course, one can broaden the BIG 5 into various sub-classes.

Disagreement can lead from just anger to an outburst of pent-up feelings.

The quarrels can stretch from very few initially to increased frequency over time.

The reasons can be from silly to far serious issues.

The whole problem is that none is willing to admit their mistakes, continue the arguments, or even compete with each other, with the ego factor playing an active role.

Whenever there is a dispute remember

“Family problems come in all sizes and shapes. Some are short-lived, and easily managed, while others are more chronic and difficult to handle” unknown

What I am trying to tell is that it takes time to deal the problems and one must be patient. One must realize that,

“Families and their problems go on and they are not solved….they are dealt with”. Roger Ebert,

When we are friendly with the entire world (don’t say…. this is because of survival instinct), why can’t we show the same friendliness to our family members?

You know the old adage

“You can choose the friends, but you can’t choose the family”

In other words, since blood is thicker than water, all the more you can’t afford to quarrel with your family members.

How best to avoid family quarrels?

Some tips which I think can help! ( My 12 commandments )

1. Stay calm despite the urge to respond angrily. Never raise your voice.
2. Be a good listener.
3. Reduce your emotional scale to zero.
4. Let there not be a communication gap. Make it clear as to what the other person is saying and it’s meaning.
5. Impress the other person, about what you meant or intended to do.
6. Never bring up past or unrelated issues.
7. Try to solve the problem and not win the argument.
8. Put yourself in the other’s shoes.
9. Don’t stockpile your issues and vent at a stretch irrelevantly.
10. forget & forgive
11. Take it easy.
12. Have faith in the Lord.

Message

“Problems are like washing machines, they twist us, spin us, knock us around but in the end, we come out cleaner, brighter and better than before” – unknown

What are your thoughts?

Thank you for your visit.

Take care, my friend.

Namaste 🙏🙏🙏

Philo

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