Assumptions…assumptions and assumptions…
“If others tell us something we make assumptions,
And if they don’t tell us something we make assumptions to fulfil our need to know and replace the need to communicate.
Even if we hear something and we don’t understand we make assumptions about what it means and then believe the assumptions.
We make all sorts of assumptions because we don’t have the courage to ask questions” Miguel Ruiz
Assume vs Presume
Though they sound to convey the same meaning, they are different, my friend.
Assume– is take it for granted without any evidence or proof. You are guilty of overconfidence.
Presume– here somebody takes an educated guess based on a piece of reasonable evidence or proof.
Maybe the assumption is more dangerous than presumption?
When you are not sure which word to use, think of the level of certainty involved.
If there is some amount of certainty, you can use the word ‘presume’.
Types of assumptions
Assumptions can be positive or negative.
The majority proceeds with ‘negative assumptions’ and either suffer or are embarrassed in the process.
In ‘positive assumption’ – you assume the best and try to make that assumption true.
We are human and the assumption is our nature, and none can help anybody.
In many situations, the assumption is instantaneous, a sort of being judgmental, and mostly negative.
Hundreds of examples can be given. I shall just mention a few.
Assumptions are extremely common among relationships since things are taken for granted!
- Assumption based on appearance
- Assumption based on colour
- Assuming that everyone you meet is a b*****d or b***h
- Assuming that all are selfish
- When a brother & sister walking together you assume they are lovers.
- Assuming that everybody is full of BS
- Whenever things go wrong, it’s because of other peoples fault
- People are unreasonable
- Life is full of s**t based on your experience
- Assuming things based on a belief system
How to avoid assumptions?
It’s impossible to avoid assumptions. But one can try.
- Check first whether it’s true or false
- Question more
- communicate properly
- Stop controlling your life (false beliefs)
- Being mindful- in other words, realise that it’s only an assumption and not to jump to conclusions
Take home message
“When you ass-u-me, you make an ASS out of U and ME” unknown