Only thing that is permanent in this life is ‘Change’
It’s 3.8 minute read.
Some People are funny,strange,weird,unreliable,unexplainable and change unexpectedly for reasons best known to them.
I hope and pray, I am not one of them.
Relations,relationships,colleagues,business acquaintances,partners,travel partners,online friends,romantic relations,….you name the category,you can have it and they change over the time.
Friendship is no exception.
I am limiting my topic to friendship.
Why do our best friends change over time ?
Live science says that “When it comes to your close friends,you lose about half and replace them with new ones after about seven years”
I am not sure about this 7 yrs time limit,but personally I feel it can happen between 6 months to one year,meaning friendship can reach peak by the end of 6 month and gradually reach the bottom at the end of 12 month.
Some of my thoughts
1.Most of us go overboard regarding friends and friendship, in the beginning and as expectations raise high,disappointments too happen in equal proposition as the time passes.
2.Since there is no commitment or bond ( similar to marriage ),its easy to break friendship and may be one need not give the reason ( though it’s uncivilized ).
3.Choice- everyone has a choice.And it’s up to you to continue the friendship or change friends depending on your circumstances.
You may be called selfish.It’s OK.But the other side person is shocked/surprised.
4.Other relationships take priority over you and you suddenly become a nuisance.
5.Change in life style.It can range from marriage,change in job,kids,habits,divorce,health etc.
6.When you change,naturally your friendship changes.
7.Friends get bored over the time and lose interest to be in touch.
8.Misunderstanding on a non serious issue.
What is that you can do when your best friend changes over the time ?
It’s sad,when people you know become people you knew.
It is said of all the relationships,friendships have a tendency to fade over the time.
“Don’t cry because it’s over.Smile because it happened” Dr. Suess
Personally,I don’t want to blame myself because I believe in the dictum,’Everything happens for a good reason’.
No doubt I feel bad that my best friend is avoiding me,but the best thing is to move on and start focusing on myself.
The only reason why We feel hurt is when the ‘so called best friend’ doesn’t tell the reason why he/she changed over time.
I can tell how things change over the time, step by step (stages)
- Unknown people to – so so friends
- so so friends – friends
- friends to- known friends
- Known friends to – close friends
- Close friends to – Best friends
- Best friends to – Bestie
- Bestie to – Die hard friends
- Die-hard friends to – acquaintances
- Acquaintances to – so so friends
- So so friends to – strangers
Now the cycle ends,happily for one,putting the other one in suspense !
“Change is the rule of nature which never changes” Shailesh Sutar
Is life long friendship possible ?
Difficult but It’s possible.
1.Don’t expect things.Maintain the same distance,Neither too close nor too far.
2.keep in constant touch.
3.See that the allotted time to chat/ meeting is maintained.Don’t give excuses.And be sincere.
Why I am writing this Post ?
I feel I am experiencing and wondering about Life Pattern & the Life’s strange way of changing people over the time.
Can this be the other way……Am I changing over the time ?
Yeah….why not ?. My friends might be thinking I have changed over the time.But at least if I have a genuine reason I openly tell.
Did any time your best friend ditch you ?
If so did you know the reason ?
Any Lessons learnt ?
“There is some self interest behind every friendship.There is no friendship without self interest.This is a bitter truth Chankaya
Who is selfish at the end ? Who can judge ?
Can you help me ?
Please share your thoughts.
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