Why married people say,they are not wholly happy ?
A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong Milton Berle
Jokes apart,as a married person have you ever felt ‘unhappiness’ ?
There is a sea of difference being married & being committed.
‘Being married’ is for the consumption of outside world.
‘Being committed’ is for you both.
Now that you know the difference…. it’s easy for you to dig further to analyse as to why,unhappiness creeps …now and then.
When marrying ask yourself these questions:Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age ? Everything else in marriage is transitory. Friedrich Nietzsche
These are some of my thoughts.
1.Freedom– After the initial euphoria died down,you start feeling that your freedom is slowly getting disturbed.You can’t do what ever you want to do because the other person in your life also has to have a say in your decisions.So you feel you have lost your Personal Space and have to wait for the better half’s green signal.
2.Additions to the family– This causes great burden on both of you.Lady is busy taking are of kids and has reduced time to spare for her man.Both of you should take care of children properly to give the kids a better future,rather than arguing and fighting in front of children.
3. Interference of in laws– Less said better.
4.Sexual needs/demands– it should be natural.It should be adjusting.Sex should be more for love rather than a necessity.
5.Differences in opinions-It happens in every family.Try to sort it out in an amicable way.You be the first one to respect the others opinion and both of you think together how best to come to a conclusion/decision.
6.Ego tendencies-It causes destruction of otherwise happy relationship.Both of you should avoid this with sincere efforts.Remember neither your spouse nor you, are superior.Both are equal partners.Always think of the bigger problems to be faced rather than losing peace of mind for that silly argument of a minor mistake.Have ever fought over non disclosing of the passwords ? This is where the Trust factor comes.
7.Lack of flexibility-Don’t be rigid.Otherwise situation becomes worse.Let go attachments and be willing to accept if you are wrong.Don’t have either superiority or inferiority complex.
8. Over expectations-This definitely is a cause for concern.Remember never to expect anything,otherwise it leads to disappointment and anger.
9.Extramarital relationship– I need not elaborate further.I can stress the importance of emotional intimacy with your spouse.
10.Money-This can result in a heated argument.I know money plays an important role.Adjustments in ‘spending habits’ can resolve the issue.
11.Lack of communication-Lack of communications results in frustration. and results in misunderstanding.
12.Abuse– can be Physical ( hitting ) or mental ( by hurtful words ).Please don’t do either.It’s wrong.
“A happy marriage does not mean you have a perfect spouse or a perfect marriage.It simply means you have chosen to look beyond the imperfections in both” Fawn Weaver
Please share your thoughts.